The Easiest Way To Get A 10 Is To Be A 10 Or Confidence Building: 101

The Easiest Way To Get A 10 Is To Be A 10

DISCLAIMER: While I admire a lot of aspects about the military, I am not in it.

You can learn all the lines, do all the inner game work and all the outer game work, but at the end of the day you are still you, you know all the horrible mistakes you have made in your life and all your failures.

Fortunately, you also know all the amazing accomplishments you have made in your life as well.

The key to dealing with your self-doubt and the anxiety that comes with it. Is to focus on your past accomplishments and actively seek to accomplish more.

David Goggins former Navy SEAL puts it another way “Do something that sucks everyday.” The SEALs put it yet another way “The only easy day was yesterday.”

All this touches on the universal truth of confidence building: attempt, fail, persevere and accomplish very hard things, and by the end of this the side effect you are left with is confidence.

The beauty of this is you get to pick what your hard thing to accomplish is and you can set short term, (run 6 miles), mid term (break your sales record at work) and long term (write a best selling book) goals.

This way you are always accomplishing something, which means you always have something greater than you to talk about, you have the confidence of knowing not only do you have hard goals, which everyone has, but you are actually doing something about it.

Women are attracted to this, because everyone is attracted to this. Bosses, clients, family members, friends, colleagues, very few people are not in some way attracted to this, in fact the only people not attracted to this are haters (people that are jealous because you have the confidence to honestly attempt something hard)

For example say I see a woman I want to talk to, but she is surrounded by taller, better looking men in fancier clothes. I will feel intimidated till I remember I ran 6 miles that morning. What is the likely hood, that she or those taller men, have done anything that difficult today? Unlikely.

So the confidence of doing that hard thing (running 6 miles that morning) translates into bringing down the anxiety I feel, due to intimidation, which brings up my confidence, which allows me to approach her and see if SHE is cool enough to talk to ME, rather than ME going up to her wondering if I am cool enough to talk to HER.

It’s a shift, a judo move, but it’s not a trick, the only way to attain real confidence is to do hard things, this can’t be faked or you will be found out. 

So what hard thing are you going to do today? It can be as big as saving a life or as intimate as going up and talking to that girl you are very attracted to.

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Gori ‘The Truth’ Olufon is the top Men’s dating coach in the D.C area.

He offers travel and local Dating Communication Bootcamps as well as shares 

bleeding edge articles on Dating Communications. For both and more visit