In Dating, Don’t Seek Praise, Seek Criticism

Don’t Seek Praise, Seek Criticism

We know there is no progress without sacrifice, we know this about money and we know this about exercise, yet we do the opposite when it comes to dating.

When it comes to dating we only seek praise, we seek it from women, from our friends, even from perfect strangers on social media. And it’s undeniably fun, but what if we sought criticism as well?

Personal Experience

I did okay with girls growing up, and in college, not great but I wasn’t the worst, till I had my heart broken and realized I did not know wtf I was doing. That forced me to take dating seriously and learn what I was doing wrong.

It was the criticism I sought from books that led me to where I am today and it took a decade to even begin to truly understand myself and human relationships. And I still fail, so I still seek criticism and I still study everyday.

Do I know enough to teach at the highest most elite levels? Yes, I do so on an almost weekly basis. Can I get a girlfriend? Girlfriends? Can I date the most beautiful women I can find? Been there, done that.

But I’m still searching, still criticizing myself, still studying and learning. Dating communications is not something I do for fun, for me it’s academic, therapeutic, I’m doing this for me, yes, a side effect is I’ve come up with my own theory on how to teach, personalizing the information and tailoring it to students needs. But the truth is when I meet ‘her’ I want to be worthy.

In conclusion,

celebrate your accomplishments by all means, but don’t hang the worth of what you have done on what other people say. The danger is if you believe your own hype you will stop, because you will think you have made it. Conversely if you rely on praise and get none or worse get criticism you won’t believe you have accomplished anything. Think internet comments.

Instead use the thing people will most reliably give you, criticism. Gauge and weigh disses and criticism, most will be talk, but some will contain a nugget of truth, that you can purify and use to make yourself better.

If you want help with this, free or otherwise click the link below and begin your journey to greatness.

Gori Olufon is the top Men’s dating coach in the DMV area.

He offers travel and local Dating Communication Bootcamps as well as shares 

bleeding edge articles on Dating Communications. For both and more visit