Bootcamp In a Book: 4 Going Out Day One

Bootcamp In a Book: 4 Going Out Day One

  1. Go out by 8pm

It seems early, and it is, the reason is simple don’t wait till all the women have met other guys, before you arrive. They may prefer you but humans have an endowment fallacy in that they prefer to keep what they have even if it would take less or the same effort to get something new.

2. ‘Hi’ Game 1-10

This game is very simple, say ‘hi’ to women if they say ‘hi’ back you get a point, if they answer verbally you get a point. If they smile, nod, mouth ‘hi’, it doesn’t count. You need a verbal response.

The goal is to make sure you voice is loud and clear, and that you are able to gauge who is receptive to you and who is not, it also helps with approach anxiety and getting into state. Don’t enter a venue till you have completed this.

3. Peacock

Wear something that is different and expresses your personality, this shows you are a leader that doesn’t care what other people thing, it’s also a signal to women who like that style. A hat is always a good choice.

4. Happy Time

Another reason for going out so early is to have an hour of ‘Happy Time’ this is when you and your wing or just you, get to enjoy being out, no pressure to talk to girls, just chilling. The effect is it helps get you in state, reduces anxiety, allows you to mentally prepare and you don’t feel so ‘thirsty’ you need to immediately start chasing girls. It helps remind you that this, is about you, not about chasing every girl you think is pretty.

5. Wander

Don’t sit in a corner, wander around the bar, with a special emphasis on the center of the bar. Have a destination, whether the bar, the bathroom, another room or the dance floor, so you don’t look lost. This way you are not predictable and see more people. While wondering make note of the women you want to open. Instead of rushing in, I recommend observing them and moving around the bar and “naturally” bumping into them.

The reason I recommend this, over directly approaching is, it feels more natural, you bump into her and immediately know what to say, (because you’ve thought about it) the conversation is more chill and less jarring. Direct opening is jarring for men and women, because while she might imagine talking to you, reality can be overwhelming and surprising, when this happens a woman has to make a quick decision with people watching. A woman that likes you may pick the safest option, due to her limited knowledge of you and reject you.

6. Play The Host

By this I mean talk to everyone, making sure everyone is having a good time, people will watch you and assume you know everyone, in which case they will want to know you.

7. Be Polite

Everyone responds to respect, even rude people, the trick is to not use it to get anything, but rather because that’s who you are right then, the juxtaposition between being a guy out for fun and someone that actually knows how to talk to a woman and making her feel valuable, will generate interest in you because high value people are polite, low value people are not.

8. Do not take rejections personally

Its a test, if you take a rejection badly you confirm to the person rejecting you that you are low value and she was right to reject you. Plus it telegraphs neediness, ‘why is this stranger so important to you?’ If on the other hand you smile, remain polite and excuse yourself. You have turned this test on it’s head and proven, your value is so high, she has no effect on you, your self-esteem or your night. Now, you’re attractive and she wonders if she is even good enough for you.

9. Force yourself to open sets

At least four an hour depending on the length of the sets, with the goal of staying in set with a woman you are attracted to all night. Talking to women, like doing anything you know is good for you brings about resistance.

Fight through that, it is far better to be rejected harshly than to make a plan to talk to women and fail at it, besides you might not get rejected harshly, either way nothing happens till you take a risk.

On the other hand when you take a risk and open sets you might get rejected, or you might get everything you want.

10. Don’t care about

  1. Who’s watching

  2. How beautiful she is

  3. If she is with a guy

  4. Or a group of people

  5. Seems too cool

  6. If she seems standoffish

  7. If you’re not ready

  8. You know it won’t work

  9. She shuts other guys down

  10. You feel you may be bothering her

The simple fact 9 out of 10 women don’t have the confidence to approach a man she wants, but does not know. Which can leave them in the frustrating predicament of having to attract attention. By approaching you are helping her out. She might want you or she might not, but by approaching you are giving her a choice, no matter how she reacts.

The only thing you have any control over is yourself, like selling a product or getting a job, you have to get out there and make it happen yourself. No one will do it for you.

DON’T be one of those guys, that gets dressed, goes out, spends money and doesn’t talk to anyone. Rejection is always better than cowardice and it IS cowardice, no matter what you tell yourself.

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Gori ‘The Truth’ Olufon is the top Men’s dating coach in the D.C area.

He offers travel and local Dating Communication Bootcamps as well as shares 

bleeding edge articles on Dating Communications. For both and more visit