Bootcamp In A BooK. 3 Approaching Women Based On Your Psychology

Bootcamp In A BooK. 3 Approaching Women Based On Your Psychology

First a refresher.

Approach anxiety is the fear of approaching. Here is the blog on that

We are Attractors Or Comfort Builders; Act Accordingly

Now we know what approach anxiety is and the different men’s dating styles, here are quick bullet points on approaching based on each.


You’re not afraid to open but what do you say? And how do you say it?

  1. Attractors, go situational, that is open with what you observe, preferably about something she is doing. Yes, I mean go indirect. Why?

You could say the most innocent thing in the world 9 out of 10 she knows you are opening her, she knows this because you are an attractor, she can instantly tell

  1. This allows you to tell her you are attracted to her with your body language, while keeping the conversation innocent. If she likes you (is receptive to being opened) she will play along.

2. Bravely ask for what you would like, if it’s a venue, isolate with dancing, grabbing a drink or isolating to a seat, however, you want her to micro bounce with you if possible. (Move with you a short distance in the venue.

3. If she is in a set, demonstrate higher value to her set and disarm the obstacles, focusing on winning over the obstacles before you bring your attention back to her.

4. Once in comfort, or in an actual conversation, immediately begin time-bridging. See 2nd note for the effects of time-bridging in real time.


You don’t want to be seen as a nuisance when approaching women, so let’s turn the concept of “being a nuisance’ on its head. You are a cool guy, deserving of everything good, further more you want everyone to have a good time, deep down. What better way to make that happen than ensuring she has a good time? We get it, men are here to help others and you want to be of service, not crassly try to take a girl home.

Excellent! Do that, use your powers of rapport to figure out the thing she wants to hear the most right now and tell her, without hitting on her, or wanting anything the only caveat though is it has to directly telegraph your interest.

In other words go direct. E.g “You look amazing tonight and I would love to get to know you better.” Or some other version of that. The keys are.

  1. First part Do a service. Use your comfort-building ability to brighten her day or night, it won’t be construed as lecherous because you are not that kind of guy. She has eyes and a brain and can see you’re not that guy.

2. Second part, directly telegraph interest. The second part of your opener lets her know you’re not just throwing her a compliment, but want to get to know her better. Yes she might reject you, but that was always a factor at least this way you both know what’s up, besides Comfort-builder’s hardly ever get rejected harshly because the ability to build comfort and form rapport is so strong within them. If she does reject you it will be extenuating circumstances like a boy-friend, however she may reject you later in the interaction. *See third note.

3. Comfort-builders, no one is going to approach her for you, and trying to befriend her first, (Using comfort first, and trying to create attraction later) is a one way ticket to the friend zone or worse is seen as cowardly and manipulative. You taking a stand will impress everyone, you most importantly, her and anyone else there. You’re essentially saying “I’m a man and I’m feeling you and I’m not afraid to say it, and it’s not based on your response.”

4. Go so far as to say, “I came over to talk to you because I like…” you have to be explicit and keep it up till she gets that you’re interested, don’t slide into comfort with her till she has no doubts about this. You will need to make a mental (telegraphing direct interest) connection AND a physical one, taking her hand should suffice, or dancing with her. Be respectful, but touch is important. Duh.

5. After you telegraph interest, make a mental and a physical connection, then and only then do you go into comfort and time-bridge.


  • Mine the convo for activities you might both like to attend, and offhandedly bring up you will be going to such an activity and inviting her, once she agrees, then get her info.

  • A funny thing happens one you successfully time-bridge, in her mind’s eye she travels to the future with you and does the activity, while you are still there talking to her. Creating a kind of mental bounce for her. When she returns from it, you are no longer a stranger she met in a club, but a friend she is going to do something cool with, so her defenses get lowered accordingly and she is more susceptible to being more adventurous with you. After all the process of time-bridging with her, sparked her attraction and made her comfortable with the idea of spending time with you.

  • Rejection is a GOOD thing. It lets you know where you stand, and can save valuable time, in essence she is saying I’m not in the market for you right now, but I respect your pitch, so you can move on to the next prospect.