Short Circuit Approach Anxiety By Using Questions Correctly

Short Circuit Approach Anxiety By Using Questions Correctly

Rejection sucks and being afraid of rejection to the point you can’t approach women you are attracted to sucks more. 

The reason being one is in your head and the other affects how far you will go in life.

The solution is simple not easy and answers both questions, how to say something, anything to a woman you attracted to and how to deal with rejection.

All you need is a piece of paper and something to write on it with.

Write down 10 indisputable accomplishments you have made in your life. After that think about the bravery and strength it took for that person (you) to risk failure and accomplish those goals. They have to be real to you. Carry the list around with you, (Yes you can put it in your phone, but I insist it’s a picture of the paper you actually wrote on.)

Now when you look at a woman and feel approach anxiety, instead of rationalizing why you should not talk to her. Pull out the list read it, figure out what you want to ask her about, stand up straight, walk up, politely greet her and the people she is with and say.

“I only have a second, but I simply had to ask about (xyz)”

And from there you can decide if you want to know more about her or not. There is more to it, but for right now, you’re talking, which we can all agree is so much better than not talking.

Note On asking a question

  1. It puts the pressure off of both of you, because people like having and knowing the reason why something is happening.

  2. Everyone likes knowing how the world see’s them and you can do that for her.

  3. You’re not trying to pick her up (yet) so she doesn’t have to shoot you down (yet) but you have massively increased the odds for success because now she is actively evaluating you as well.

  4. It’s innocent (mostly) so there is less social pressure, till you get more information like “oh this is Tom my husband” lol just kidding but you see my point.

  5. As you approach more women and ask questions, you will ask better questions, questions that tell her as much about you, as the answers she gives will tell you about her.

  6. If your question is brushed off and ignored, it’s no big deal because it was just a question, and over time you will internalize this. “It’s just a question no big deal.”

  7. When you get to that point your approach anxiety will become manageable, which is honestly the best you can hope for because everyone has approach anxiety except psychopaths. Everyone knows you were brave for asking, you, her, her friends and everyone watching, and regardless of the result you will have earned everyone’s respect especially hers but even more importantly yours and like everything else over time it will become easier and easier.

  8. “What kind of questions?” Good question, whatever you ask always have a follow up reason for asking and always tell her why, whether she asks or not. For instance “Are you African?” I ask because I noticed you have a beaded bracelet that is only sold in Mozambique, my family has a home there.”

  Every item of clothing a person wears is chosen by them, usually, so every adornment be it clothes, jewelry, hair color, tattoos has a reason for being on a person’s body. As you approach mastery you will be able to tell things about people by their gait (how they walk) and their body language, and be able to ask deeper and better questions.

Indirectly letting her know, you are not just some guy, you’ve actually given her a lot of thought, obviously don’t be creepy and apologize to her if you fluster her, that shows you are considerate and masterful.

9. Done right the question should be specific enough to her that it creates attraction and her answer and the reason you give for asking it will create comfort, if you’re in a pinch now, is when you invite her to something and ask for her information or even better, take her on an insta-date. Even something as silly as let’s have a 1 minute date over here.

10. The key to any performing art, even approaching a woman you don’t know, is to take the focus off of yourself, it’s not about you, and your ego, and how cool you are it’s about her and making your scene partner (her) look good. With this mind set rejections very quickly become not a big deal. The pain of rejection is pain for your ego. I say, GOOD, kill the ego, and focus on connecting with and helping others.

Gori ‘The Truth’ Olufon is the top Men’s dating coach in the D.C area.

He offers travel and local Dating Communication Bootcamps as well as shares 

bleeding edge articles on Dating Communications. For both and more visit