Show Me Your Friends And I will Show You Who You Are Or Birds Of A Feather, Get The Flock Out!
Show Me Your Friends And I Will Show You Who You Are Or Birds Of A Feather, Get The Flock Out!
Bird’s of a feather flock together.
You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.
Iron sharpens iron.
Alright we get it, we become like who we spend time with. You are what you think the most about. You are what you do. Etcetera etcetera.
What does that mean for us, when it comes to dating?
Humans are social animals, our lives are based around how we relate to others, and a huge part of that is who we chose to relate with whether it’s friends or romance. (Pun intended)
I can only speak from my point of view but, if you are super polite and super sweet but your friend is being obnoxious and mean, I know; I don’t think, I know; that you are probably just like that, and I think your friend is doing me a favor.And yea I’ve had a girl I liked, pulled away by her friend, all guys and some girls have, so you can say I have sour grapes. But I’ve also been turned off and leery of women, that I have already started to bond with upon meeting a friend of theirs that acts ‘off’.
Put another way Jlo stopped dating Diddy after Shyne shot the club up, and though Diddy was found innocent, no one questioned Jlo, breaking up with him and Shyne going to jail.
Winging is great for support and camaraderie but that not what it’s really for. Here’s what it’s really for, it’s so others, women mainly, can see how you interact with people you “care about”. I put that in quotes because a lot of guys go out with friends and ignore, compete with and belittle ‘their’ friends. This sends the signal to both of you and the people that see, that you do not treat the people that are close to you well.
This is why meeting family is such a big deal, it’s because it provides the blue print to your partner for why you are the way you are, and how your parents relate to each other and to you. It also explains your ‘natural’ map for relationships. Whether you chose to follow it or trail blaze a new path.
Also I get the instinct to not want to be lumped in with your friends, you are all individuals, and I get wanting to stand by your people. However people that do things that are anathema to you, your choices and your values are NOT your friends. For example if my friend joined a criminal gang and I found out, our friendship is over. Why? Because he is choosing to be a criminal or criminal by association, whereas I did not. He may have been the closest person to me in the world but because continued association with him puts my life goals in jeopardy, the only thing I can do is cut ties.
'But Truth my friend being rude is a small matter it's not that serious.' True, but everything has to start somewhere, the friend that uses a derogatory term for another group does not start out showing all their cards. No, they say something bigoted once and observe your reaction, if you say nothing it increases in frequency, till next thing you know you're saying it with them and actively taking part.
Would love to hear your thoughts, so like share comment, all that good stuff.
For those that want to attend my seminar it is happening right here in D.C on the 28 of April. The link for details and tickets is below.