The Truth About Online Dating Or Get Girls Back To The Future
The Truth About Online Dating Or Get Girls Back To The Future
I used to be vehemently against online dating, till I started getting laid regularly online. So I have reversed my position, because I am not a hypocrite.
The reasons I was against it, was my belief that it took choice completely out of the hands of men and put it squarely in the hands of women. I.e women decide whether to respond, whether you meet in addition to deciding if they want to start a relationship with you.
Also I believed it would make men even worse at communicating with and courting women in real life.
And, that it created more barriers to meeting than it solved. Stats show young people that are dating spend more time texting than in each others presence.
What I have since realized is, choice was always and will always be in the hands of women. And it was and is always the role of men to approach and open in order to start relationships, be it digitally or in person.
And there will always be a need for men to be able to approach and engage women in real life even if the process begins online.
And while, unskillful online dating can create barriers to meeting, meeting in no way guarantees a successful courtship.
Last but not least, you can't fight the future.
So my theory of success in Online dating mirrors what is found in nature (how humans begin relationships without technology).
It still follows the .Attraction. Comfort. Seduction. model only now:
Attraction is your pictures.
Comfort is your profile.
Seduction is her responding, matching, engaging and meeting with you.
After that in person dating communications strategies can be implemented.
This is your work picture. Women are attracted to how likely you are to survive just like we are attracted to how likely she is to have kids. So she needs to know you work and are either successful at it or are well on your way to success. For most, this means a picture in a suit at a desk. (Haven't you ever wondered why male strippers are always sexy versions of jobs? Or why women are obsessed with men in uniforms?)
So you want a picture of you dressed for work that looks like you are working.
Be alone in the picture, don't smile (it's a submissive signal, it's also a confidence signal but we will get into that another time.)
Studies show women like pictures where the man is not looking directly into the camera. But I think this is a wasted opportunity.
The point of the picture is how well you will survive, which speaks to your dominance, so look confidently into the camera like you would look at a beautiful woman to let her know she is desirable.
Short version: Wear work clothes, look like you're working, look into the camera confidently/dominantly.
This is your physical presence picture. Again this picture is about how well you will survive. So this is your recreational/power picture.
For most of us this is the workout/ physical activity picture, but it does not have to be.
It tells her you are healthy, so shirt off, sports, exercise etc is your goal, if that is where you shine, but it can also be, you next to 'your thing you want to brag about', trophies, your car, your house, you playing an instrument, you on stage doing 'that awesome thing you do', it's you physically plus the thing you want to show off. If you want to go the rapper route it's you wearing bling or posing with stacks of money, lol.
Short version: Your 'show off picture', your body, a cool hobby, possessions or displays of wealth.
Obviously these pictures need to be of the highest quality, you can afford, or learn how to take.
As I have mentioned in my Tinder posts, you get no extra points for extraneous information, in fact this is where you lose points, lose the sale or lose her interest completely. Simply put, less is more.
You want to list your best accomplishments or qualities, in a very matter of fact way.
If you have an attractive job, list it.
If you went to a top school, list it.
If you are a leader in some way mention it.
Next is your relationship goal.
If you want a girl-friend say so.
If you want to settle down say so.
The only exception is if you are not looking for anything serious, while this will attract some girls, it will work against you with most.
It's like saying "I would like sex please" it's implied, and too forward to say upfront. A good shirtless photo will do that job way more effectively.
Finally what a good profile will do is give a 'sense' of what you expect.
I say a 'sense' because listing rules, in a profile before anything has even happened is silly and a turn off. Think about how you respond to girls writing "no hook ups" in their bios. (P.S most people hook up, under the right circumstances, and they are even more likely to if they have to expressly write, "No hookups.")
You give a sense of what you expect in your profile. If it's heavy on attractiveness, e.g shirtless, you are ripped, the look on your face is dominant. She will assume you have sexual choice and will act accordingly, to take you off the market.
If you have more comfort, e.g steady job, leader of men, maybe you have a kid. She will know you are looking to settle down, and treat you as a real contender for a life together.
Both have pros and cons.
The goal of all this is the meet. The way-points are
1. A match.
2. A reply
3. A meet
4. A sexual relationship
Your pic and profile done right will get you a match. What you say will get you a reply and a meet.
Best practices, act with moxie assume she already likes and wants to meet you, reason being is any other attitude does not serve you.
So ask and invite her to ask personal questions, (three each should suffice) this will serve as a screen for both of you and create enough rapport, (comfort, not attraction) that she feels like you have both earned the right to meet.
Then ask for a meet, don't be clever or entertaining, be a Man and ask. If she wants to talk more before hand do so. But do not become pen-pals that never meet, give it a week. If no progress delete her and move on.
Don't be picky about when or where, go in good faith assuming she is not going to take advantage of you.
It is WAY more of a risk for her to meet you, than it is for you to meet her. Plus if it's a 'No' you can just make an excuse and leave.
I hope this has been helpful. Like, share, subscribe and comment.
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