How To Date Hotter Girls

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Let’s dive in shall we. First a definition and some evolutionary psychology you instinctively understand.

Hot: Attractive in an overwhelmingly sexual way.

Why are humans attracted to hotness as opposed to just beauty?

Beauty: The outward manifestation of health, (symmetry) 

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder its actually scientifically measurable. (See the golden mean). 

Hotness on the other hand is open to interpretation colored by our own specific mix of triggers.

Height, weight, race, hair length, hair color, personality, voice, talent, secondary female characteristics, age etc, etc. 

So because hotness is so specific we all have pre-sets on what we find the most attractive, and who we consciously or unconsciously believe we can date. This is because humans (as well as every living thing on earth) lives in hierarchies. E.g we all aspire to be wealthier but live in our own economic realities. The same with dating. We all want super-models but will date the most attractive people we can.

This is evolution, it’s a self correcting system, that allows the male alphas and the female alphas to find each other and mate, allowing their alpha offspring to drag the human  race forward, evolutionarily speaking.

Alpha: Human with valuable characteristics and or talents that are beneficial to the human species as a whole. This could be something as simple as height, or as complicated as scientific genius. 

Note* This is why all things being equal if a non-alpha is given a chance to mate with (fxxx) an alpha, all things being equal their biological circuitry will drive them to do so, almost as though they had no choice. Don’t believe me? Brad Pitt could fxxx your girl right now, and deep down in your lizard brain, you might not like it, but you’d understand. But you, aren’t exempt, if Taylor Swift came to your house and demanded sex, you’d fxxx her. (Substitute, your own celebrities.) Point being humans for the most part know alphas when they see one and instinctively understand those genes need to be preserved.

Alright already! We know what ‘hotness’ is, and what ‘beauty’ is, and we all understand that everybody has a hotness preset that they feel they can deal with. (We all have an internal attractiveness rating we ascribe ourselves.) 

How Do We Raise The Hotness Of The Women We Date!?! Is it even possible? If you’re just a regular guy? Or are you consigned to be with “regular” women for the rest of your life?

The good news about being human is depending on how much effort you are willing to put in, you can alter your behavior to improve your reality.


Honestly think about the average attractiveness of the women you go after and get. “But I get whatever I can!” I hear a voice in my head yell. To which I reply, “There is nothing wrong with that, except that may be what is holding you back.”

You can’t hit a target you don’t aim for, unless she is really horny and you happen to be there. Jokes aside if you don’t try to date 8s and 9s, they will just assume 

A. You are not interested.

B. You are not qualified.

Note: Beautiful women are left alone all the time, not because they are not desired but because the men around them don’t feel qualified, read; are too pxxxx, to approach them. Next time you are out watch how few the men that actually approach beautiful women are. Staring and cat-calling don’t count, obviously.


I say consciously, and decide in all caps because, you really need to pay attention to this part. You are actively trying to over-ride your instincts, and “the system” does not like that! 

‘The system’ in this case refers to your mental, your physical as well as all of society as a whole! “Whoa bold claim, sounds like a conspiracy!” I hear you scoff. Alright, let’s use something as simple as getting in shape.

You know you should work out, but your instinct is to conserve energy, which actually makes sense, because you have a limited amount of it, (energy) what if after working-out you get chased by a lion?

That covers the mental and physical.

Do you think society “wants” you in shape? America is literally in an obesity epidemic, society pushes junk food, t.v and video games, we watch as opposed to play sports, and a huge gym chain has ‘pizza nights’. 

Now let’s talk about what’s stopping you from “Dating” hotter girls.

You have “approach anxiety” factory installed in your software (fear of approaching attractive women, it’s an instinct, the more attractive the woman the bigger the fear.) Which will not go away by itself, or even ever. It makes sense because you could approach that super-model but what if her 7ft 500 Ibs, super muscular, MMA, WWE, boy-friend sees? Obviously he and his friends will murder you. While all the other women in the world watch it on social media and laugh at you. And even if you survive, the women will all make a pact never to sleep with you. So better not even approach her, stick with the 5s or 6s or better yet marry the first girl that will sleep with you.

I hope you get a sense through this exaggeration of how you and society work hand in hand to stop you from dating hotter women.


A lot of people think, I will know what I want when I see it and doubtless you will, that’s not the issue, the issue is remembering to go after what you want WHEN you see it. This is why I make my students make lists. I remember I made a list that is about 10 years old, it was everything I wanted in a woman, and this weekend (I swear to God) her friend, a complete stranger mind you, literally handed her off to me in a bar, during camp, on a night when no sets were hooking. I showed the lists to my students, and I showed the list to her, everyone agrees that it’s uncanny.

So lists help remind you of what you want, so when you see her, you go for it. Or else you have to face that list and know you chickened out. But more importantly lists, goals, plans, visualizations, affirmations, fxxxing spirit boards, work, because they, act upon your subconscious, which is WAY bigger than your conscious. 

Consider, did I get with my dream girl because the list had me subconsciously (and consciously) searching for her? Or did writing the list make me into the kind of guy my dream girl would find?

Who knows? Who cares? Point is it worked.


Make a plan to get what you want. Read a book, find a mentor, hire a coach, hire me. Youtube is better than nothing, decide how you want to attack the problem, and (this is the part everyone forgets) actually ATTACK the problem. Everyone loves planning stuff, who gives a Fxxx!? Anyone can plan Stuff! There is a very old saying “If wishes were horses beggars would ride.”

So after a reasonable amount of planning, (if it takes longer than an hour to start, it is no longer reasonable). For FXXX sake! BEGIN!

It is the EASIEST thing in the world to settle, you think to yourself “sure she isn’t a 9, but she has a great personality, and I’m getting laid, and what if she’s right and I can’t do better? Plus she was there for me etc, etc.”

Said every guy who ends up with an average woman. And society has us so conditioned we immediately think, “as long as I’m happy”.

We think that, because if 100% of men went after the top 10% of women, society would cease to function.

Suffice to say beginning, not beginning, both are choices. It’s the difference between succeeding and failing.


We are programmed to see making a choice as looking towards a goal, so much so, we forget, not only is a choice picking a goal it is also ignoring) all other goals.

Whatever pants you’re wearing are not JUST the pants you picked, they are NOT all the other pants in the world you could have picked.


Point is, when you set a goal you are not just deciding the kind of women you want in your life. You are also deciding all the kind of women you do NOT want in your life. Thereby making your life easier, because you don’t have to continuously decide what it is you want every time you meet a new woman ad nauseum. Or— excellence, like ‘stunting’ is a habit.

And isn’t excellence better than not excellence? 

In conclusion, 

Step 1. Know where you are now.

Step 2. Consciously DECIDE to aim higher.

Step 3. Make a list and check it twice.

Step 4. Make a plan and Take Get-Off-Your-Ass

Step 5. CHOICE, know the real Definition.

Gori ‘The Truth’ Olufon is the top Men’s dating coach and MPUA in the D.C area.

He offers travel and local Dating Communication Bootcamps as well as shares 

bleeding edge articles on Dating Communications. For both and more visit