Self-Acceptance Or I Love Myself!
Self-Acceptance or I Love Myself!
We all seek to connect and find our people. Socially, in love and in work. There are way more people you will not connect with than people that you will connect with and that's okay. This thought struck me in church today, because my church is not my tribe, I go, I worship, I hear the word and I leave. There is nothing wrong with the church, there are people there that are really plugged in, but what I realized today is that there is nothing wrong with me either. They just aren't my people. I thought this was bad, till I realized we aren't all supposed to connect with everyone, just like we're not supposed to be friends with everyone (facebook!) or date or sleep with everyone.
Put in this light, the fear of rejection seems kind of silly doesn't it? But we're hard wired to feel it, I propose that is why it exists, to keep us from forming shallow relationships. What I mean is, if we didn't have approach anxiety we'd talk to everyone, even the people we have no business talking to ("bad-fits"). And it is that same anxiety that makes us feel awesome when we beat it and do approach the people we are supposed to be talking to.
Where does that leave us?
We are going to get "rejected" more than we are accepted and this is actually a good thing, soldier on and find your tribe. In fact reframe rejection as a bad fit.
Don't settle! In any area, you'll know when you are, because you will be nagged by the feeling you are not fulfilling your potential. Life, job, relationship etc.
Quit being so quick to assign blame, either to yourself for not being good enough, or to the group for not accepting you and being your tribe. This is like entering a house you think is yours and being mad at it for being the wrong house.
Being mad at yourself for not being accepted, is like going to donate blood and then being angry at yourself for having the wrong blood type.
That said there are tribes (a job, a group, a woman we fall for) we have a strong feeling we are supposed to join, and we don't get in due to not reaching the standards. I am not proposing we quit every time we get rejected, far from it. I merely propose we search ourselves and learn to tell the difference between not belonging in a tribe, and when digging deeper to prove we belong is the right choice.
All right Illuminati, Sunday post in the bag! (Nailed it) going to start talking about Narcissism and how it can help your game.
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