What Is Love? Or F$%#ing Science Bruh!
What Is Love? Or F%$^ing Science Bruh!
I miss my girl, and yea, I've dated a lot of girls, just been friends-with-benefits, with a lot more and had even more one night stands, (not bragging, 'cause if you think about it, hard enough, it's kinda sad.)
I miss her because she is the first woman since my getting stabbed through the heart years ago that I actually fell in love with.
What is love? Romantic love is pair bonding, it satisfies a man's need for sex and a woman's need for support so babies can be made and cared for.
The feeling you get when you see a hot girl is lust, it's dopamine, giving you a reward for seeing someone you want to procreate with and it's dopamine and testosterone's job to drive you towards her.
Say you do go up to her and things escalate all the way up to sex, your reproductive system releases more dopamine and at a more consistent rate than cocaine or heroin. This is why porn and sex addictions are so very hard to beat.
Anyway just because there are dopamine hits and it starts with lust does not mean it can't turn into love.
Overtime, she will create less and less dopamine in your head, but over time if *everything goes well, she will release something stronger in your head, Oxytocin.
Oxytocin builds up slowly in your system, but the changes it makes in you are quite remarkable.
It not only bonds you to this woman in a deep meaningful way but it, causes you not to need dopamine to feel good.
And since that is all other women you are not in love with can give you, you lose interest in other women and it actually lessens the power of all dopamine addictions (Read; ALL addictions.)
Oxytocin actually makes you smarter, it gives you the support needed to think things through and see what is real. I imagine this is why men get their acts together when they have a child.
It makes you healthier, and gives you a general feeling of satisfaction with life, which I imagine is why married people live longer.
So, that is what love is, scientifically speaking. Now a lot of us in 'game', short circuit our ability to feel this by going from girl to girl, maybe we were hurt, and let go of attachments to others as a defense mechanism to survive growing up. I know I did.
But we are adults now, we have agency, we are in control, and while it is super scary to let anyone in that much, to the point they can hurt you, "we" are missing the point.
Love, this feeling and mechanism, that has allowed humans to survive and prosper for however long,
is. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.
It's about them, the one's we love, the one's we protect, the one's we share our deepest moments with.
There doesn't have to be a label, and again it is not about you.
I feel no anger that my ex, broke up with me right before the holidays and I am alone and chose to be right now.
Because I picked her. I love her, I always will, so it didn't work out so what? I made a decision and I stand by it. I'm a grown man, all the good things that came about because of that relationship are still here. And when I fall in love a gain I'll be even more likely to succeed.
And I guess that is really the secret to love at the end of the day.
It's making a decision and your mind and body making it so, after the fact.
In conclusion don't be afraid to let you love light shine, it might take years but never stop fighting because to give up on the most powerful force in the universe is to truly be a coward.
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