Attraction & Comfort or Be Hot & Cool
Attraction & Comfort or Be Hot & Cool
Hey Illuminati, this is an old concept I did not invent the inventor was Mystery (respect those that came before). I did take the concept one step further when I noticed that my students were falling into personality types based on this.
Half of my students were like me, natural attractors, we can look at a girl and just tell what will turn her on and do it almost effortlessly but making her feel comfortable is something we don't naturally do. So most of my attractor students would fail at this. Luckily for me I drill comfort every chance I get.
The other half the Comfort Builders, effortlessly make people feel comfortable around them, ever been hanging out with a chick you never met and suddenly she's telling you about her former drug addiction or really kinky, really private, sex stuff. Without you prying? Then you are a comfort builder, people naturally feel comfortable around you, only problem is you feel bad asking for what you want from a woman. You feel you will break all the trust you've built up and so, live in the dreaded friend-zone. AHHH!
Here is the thing, Attractors! Comfort-Builders! To get the girl you need to be both. But how!?
An attractor is the type of guy that attracts a girl through animal magnetism, we know women want us, so we are not afraid, if we get blown out, more fish in the sea. We know women want to sleep with us, it even happens every so often, but the problem isn't the chick that takes us home at the end of the night. It's all the women we talk to that we could have gotten if we had just made them feel comfortable with us.
Attractors are seduction first and seduction first guys are saying, (to the girl) "hey you don't know me, but you're going to fuck me" a little creepy right? Some say 'yes' if they just want you, most say ‘no'. Attractors, with no comfort just play the numbers game and get a little. (I don’t believe in the numbers game, I believe in stacking the odds in your favor.)
The solution for attractors is building comfort, once you have attracted her, (essentially made your intentions clear) down shift into, actually getting to know her (Crazy Right?) She will still be attracted but now she can imagine her life with you. What? You don't want to marry her?! That's fine, but imagining her life with you is something she has to do. Or she won't feel good about it. In fact comfort is where you defeat LMR (Last Minute Resistance). Comfort feels unnatural to attractors but it has to happen, AFTER you attract her, never before. The cool thing about comfort is women can tell if you are an Attractor or Comfort Builder and (if she likes you) will give you points for trying at the thing you don't naturally do.
So the Attractor that says "You make me feel uncertain" gets points for vulnerability. And the Comfort-builder that throws his inhaler on the ground (jk, calm down) and grabs her and makes out with her gets points as well. ***Note: These are examples, not saying do them, not saying don't do them, all I'm saying is think before you act.
A comfort builder, is usually the family peace maker, they have learned from an early age to soothe things and get along with everybody, they are your active listeners, conscientious, polite and empathetic. They do this and people like them, the problem is they become addicted to everybody liking them and become afraid to do anything else. They never ask for what they want and they live in the friend zone, the are the ones that either never get the girl or get "whipped" when they do.
(My comfort-builders please know that the balance of being a man is not between being an 'asshole' on the attractor side, or being a ‘door-mat' on the comfort building side. No, being a man is more complicated than that, and yet simpler it's 'Strength' vs 'Weakness'. It takes strength to stand by yourself even when people may disagree with you, and it also takes strength to admit when you might be wrong and give others a chance to express themselves.)
Comfort builders don't ask for what they want because they are afraid of breaking the trust the other person (girl) has put in them.
And to that I say “If you have trust then you should be able to tell her what you want without it being an issue, if she cares about you, she wants you to have what you want." Point being YOU have to tell her how you feel, that is how this works, if you can't do even that, you don't deserve her. And yes it may change the relationship but the Truth is all that comfort you built with her does not just go away, it''s still there. And if she wants the comfort you give her but is not interested in how you feel, then she is not your friend. I'm not saying she has to date you, ya'll can decide that, but if she refuses to even acknowledge your feelings, she's using you, and YOU should not be okay with that no matter how hot or awesome she is. Now it's a self-respect issue!
Attractors by all means turn girls on, but once she's into you, slow it down and get to know her, "But why?" I hear "It's going so well" I'll tell you why, it's so you get a chance to nail her later and not have to deal with massive amounts of Last Minute Resistance! That's WHY! (Sorry for yelling). How do you Know how much comfort is enough? Game for about 7hours, you will (probably) have succeeded when she gets you alone in a room.
Comfort-Builders, by all means keep doing what you are doing you are God-sends, and honestly your's is easy it just takes balls. (courage) When you meet a girl you like *drum roll please* tell her you like her.
‘Corny'? Maybe but now she knows and often times that's all it takes to spark attraction, knowing somebody likes us. As for comfort you guys have got that in the bag.
Remember Attraction first, then Comfort, she Seduces.
Alright time for Jiu-Jitsu.
Oh if the blog is helping you please share it. I also teach Bootcamps and do phone classes.