Active Listening Or He Who Has Ears Let Him Hear
Active Listening Or He Who Has Ears To Hear, Let Him Hear
Hello Illuminati, lend me your ears, what is active listening? Technically it's letting the person you are listening to know you are listening by nodding, agreeing or paraphrasing. I'd argue that all of that is unnecessary though, because when you are listening to someone, really listening? They know. Because they can feel it. Because you don't listen with your ears, you listen with your soul.
I know, a lot of you are like, "Truth has lost his mind", but hear me out (so many listening puns). Guys, don't watch tv we become the tv, especially when it is something that absorbs us. Sports is a good example.
Ever watched, read or done something that had you so engrossed, you looked up and an hour had passed and you hadn't realized it?
That's called flow. And that is what real listening should, (emphasis on should) feel like. That is what listening with your heart feels like, you are utterly "empathetic" or "in that person's shoes" but what is actually best is for that moment you ,are, that person, mentally, not literally.
This takes work, nah actually this takes love,(all, the work) you have to feel enough for the other person that you take on their experiences for a short time.
As you can imagine, in this day and age, almost no one wants to do it, except for the people that absolutely love you, or the people that it's their job to do it, (psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists, priests.)
So much so, that if you actually listen to others and ask nothing in return, to them it is more precious than gold.
Why? Other than just communication?
1. It makes people feel loved. There is no way around it the feeling of being listened to, without a gain to be had, is love.
2. It helps people think clearer. I'm not a doctor but I am convinced half of the mental health battle is making patients feel heard. Because being listened to, forces you to edit, and editing is all about, making sense.
3. It makes people better, if you're being heard then you must be important and if you are important there must be a reason, so people give a reason and that is being better, than they usually are. Usually.
I had a student learn to "active" listen before the bc, mind you he was the kind of guy that would rather talk, big buff alpha male, (you know the type), last bootcamp he sat quietly (lol, you'll get that in a second) with a group of deaf girls and texted next to one with her, for an hour, both happy and flirting in their own private, little, world with, no words. Mean while another student bailed seeing opening them as too hard, and I struck out when I went after the lesbian who had her girlfriend there. (I like lesbians, what?). Point is I was proud.
I will end with this, you know the feeling when you kneel and listen to an excited toddler, how you are in their brain using every clue, trying to understand what they are saying even though words are hard for them?
Do that, with adults from time to time, the results will be nothing less than magic. I guarantee it.